When it’s no words to come out, only crying, then I am empty.  No direction, no reason; I am just succumb to the tears.  So I pull out a prayer I wrote some thirteen years ago, when I began my journey through the bible.  A prayer I also shared back when my daughter was overwhelmed in college.  I remember trying to direct her to the Lord for refuge and she replied her time didn’t allow.  I was crushed for her to feel in such a spot.  So I will share again as I have need in myself.

I search today with a heavy heart.  I wait on my thoughts and paths from God.  Hold me close Lord – let me know you are there and here and always knowing.  For my answers which I am confident are sometimes not there at all.  How can I trust me without a complete giving to Christ.  His way – may it always be before me.  Help me know your answer in my all.  Build my every step with confidence of my path.  Help my searching never to give up.  Build my confidence for your purpose.  Sift my goodness and reward your will in me oh Lord – I grow weak yet am strong – I am so low ’til you build me.  Help me see.  Help me grow.  When I am pitifully barren I am full.  My answers need good use.  I in myself am alone in you Lord and for you.  I need a place to escape my fears each day – may I always find it in you.

This prayer has a permanent home right in the front of my orange Gideon bible.  I always know where it is when in need.  And it seems to say what I need to say sometimes.  And that orange Gideon bible?  It’s the backbone and structure and direction for my day.  Everyday.  I always love little small things…an inner joy comes when I see anything in a mini form.  And especially this bible.  Even though it may be small, it holds many, many thoughts and words and paths I ‘ve been through within it’s cover.  I read, then write, then place them within.  My heart lives in the arms of God’s words to build and carry me.  And to hold me in silence with Him.