Another Season

 

Do I rest as do the flowers and trees outside?  Do I dormant in my own Winter also?  As I am beginning to down at the thought of no more “pretties” to see outside, I see Fall is upon us today.  I see rest and quiet and building strengths from within the depths of soil and the peaks of branches.  A much needed rest from the toils their oppressed earth brings.  A rest to feed, to re-do what was drained, to refill the empty and torn and battered.  To rest and rebirth in another season.

My Permanent Prayer

When it’s no words to come out, only crying, then I am empty.  No direction, no reason; I am just succumb to the tears.  So I pull out a prayer I wrote some thirteen years ago, when I began my journey through the bible.  A prayer I also shared back when my daughter was overwhelmed in college.  I remember trying to direct her to the Lord for refuge and she replied her time didn’t allow.  I was crushed for her to feel in such a spot.  So I will share again as I have need in myself.

I search today with a heavy heart.  I wait on my thoughts and paths from God.  Hold me close Lord – let me know you are there and here and always knowing.  For my answers which I am confident are sometimes not there at all.  How can I trust me without a complete giving to Christ.  His way – may it always be before me.  Help me know your answer in my all.  Build my every step with confidence of my path.  Help my searching never to give up.  Build my confidence for your purpose.  Sift my goodness and reward your will in me oh Lord – I grow weak yet am strong – I am so low ’til you build me.  Help me see.  Help me grow.  When I am pitifully barren I am full.  My answers need good use.  I in myself am alone in you Lord and for you.  I need a place to escape my fears each day – may I always find it in you.

This prayer has a permanent home right in the front of my orange Gideon bible.  I always know where it is when in need.  And it seems to say what I need to say sometimes.  And that orange Gideon bible?  It’s the backbone and structure and direction for my day.  Everyday.  I always love little small things…an inner joy comes when I see anything in a mini form.  And especially this bible.  Even though it may be small, it holds many, many thoughts and words and paths I ‘ve been through within it’s cover.  I read, then write, then place them within.  My heart lives in the arms of God’s words to build and carry me.  And to hold me in silence with Him.

In Read of Thought

In read this morning, Luke 9:53 (and :52)

“And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem.”

The village of Samaritans would not when Jesus sent messengers before him to make ready for him.

Is this because his face was not as theirs – like racism?  How far back does it start?  These are the evils we fight against which God’s word forewarns (powers and principals and evil in high places, remember?).  Look how far and how long it has traveled.  Racism – only one of our issues to overcome and learn from; God’s lessons. 

Greed be the next, but I don’t want to start my day on the Trump card.  I’ll move on…

 

Next One?

So I don’t tell, I just plug along and write it as God feeds me to do.  God will place – I’ve said that and believe that.  Keep my path in this honest dear Lord and move me to do as your will.  In Christ’ name I pray: effectual fervent prayer.  And nobody can take it away.

1/12/19 – I knew then, when I read his letters to us, in start “my darling and children”.  I was two months old and my dad went to Iceland to help build the airport.  I always thought it was probably a chance to earn good money, kinda’ like the pipelines in Alaska for good paying yet hard work.  But it was more.  When I read my dad’s letters – 63 years later – I realized it was dire straits to keep his family supported.  He was 26 years old.  Heartbreaking when you read how lonesome he was and how he missed his young family so desperately.  But to pray to hang on for four more months to secure rumor of a $500 bonus and a guaranteed job back home in the states.  Working twelve hour days and then no work on some due to storms – so no pay.  He wrote of how sick he got but worked on through and assured mom he’d be okay in a couple days (all the while working those 11-12 hour days).  My heart breaks to imagine how his world was taken and how he endured what he did for us – his young family.  Dad always did that; no matter what he had, it didn’t matter to him if he had it or not, just so we were taken care of.  Always he did that.

1/23/19 – And if I write all this down, there’s nothing that can stop.  Freedom to do so, right?  Compassion to a love so special and so missed, my family: my mom, dad, younger sister and son.  And then I visit all my “angel army” in my heart; I miss and love all of them.  And the pictures re-hash all the thoughts to the point I am overwhelmed with emotion all day long.  So I break from the pictures for just a few.  I get excited to see them and re-visit some, yet it wears me out mentally.  The whole ordeal wears me out!

I can’t get the years back and I can’t re-live them.  But as I age I am blessed to have the letters and the pictures and our family bibles of generations back.  I am blessed so I can reflect and hopefully settle in all of this.  God has given my heart what it needs, the true treasures of years past.  Many steps and many paths my family has made throughout their lives.  I am somehow passionate to tell their story.  I feel all the work and love endured, need not be reduced by greed and dishonesty.  For what is real was in their hearts and there will come a day, perhaps, others can be fed by the love and devotion there and also not there.  For some try to take.

I pray as I go forward to tell a story I promised to tell.  One which can’t be taken away!

on this blog, click Search to Page titled Next Book? and read on….. Continue reading

A Christmas Slowdown

It’s been a dry time for writing lately – mostly due to our upcoming celebration.  And then yesterday lo and behold we had fifteen inches of snow; resting us in it’s beauty ALL DAY LONG.  Sure there were chores of the snow tended to but only for short spirts.  Rest is what the day put upon us.  A Christmas slowdown.

A day to just take in the beauty God gave us and gives us.  A day to reflect upon Him.  The snow was so constant and penetrating that you could only chore in it for short periods.  Rest it demanded. 

In my read this morning I think upon the world with God’s power and love to support our life.  When I see I John 4:4, the words give me hope for good things in this world.  We embrace this time of year and hope the heartfelt feelings last all year.  Our hope?

“Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world”

See the reason we celebrate – see Jesus – in everything.  Because Jesus is love and that’s all that matters.  It resolves all within us.  May God’s spirit live in our hearts everyday!  (see I John 3:24)  And know we have the power then, to change our world (within us)!

MERRY, MERRY AND BLESSED (in your own world, our world) CHRISTMAS!!

 

 

 

 

Feed As Thanksgiving

Feed the flock.  When we are told by God in His word, feed…step back and see how that can be done in our world.  Feed the flock.  And not only our’s, but the world’s.  For He also tells us that the same afflictions are accomplished in others, same as ourselves.  In the world He says…same for everyone!

And when I lose hope in this life, I look to where hope really is.  God warns me, “because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walk about seeking whom he may devour…”  It’s not our imagination of punishment we are turmoiled, all of us.  Because the devil seeks his own to devour.  As a roaring lion, in high places and powers and principalities remember?  So perhaps it’s not powers in high places we look to for guidance to feed our world.  For God tells us to be subject one to another with humility.  Is that in our powers to be, humility?

God resist the proud, He gives grace to the humble.  He feeds us in His word, to feed others – in the world be the same, with humbleness of heart and mind.  It is to each of us as we live our life, to feed and to follow the humble ensamples, not the proud.  Each smallness of us can create a place for God’s grace, if we humble our hearts and our lives to God and one another.  He says to be subject to one another.  Feed one another, mind and body, in all our world.

And I also read His encouraging word that after we have suffered a while, He makes us perfect, stablishes, strengthens and settles us.  Settles you and me.  We need that.

 

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In read:  I Peter Chap. 5

 

Will They Ever?

Is it happening to bring us to repentance?  I pray so often of late, to bring our world to repentance and that evil stops penetrating lives.  This world is edging in of evil so rapidly and on all sides.

Those in governing our ways, are they placed to show us how and what we don’t want?  Will they bring our world out of  chaos and fear and pain?  Will they ever?

God tells us each to be fully persuaded in our own minds.  So perhaps as this world shows us what we don’t want, it will be brought as we do…by each of us.

 

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..refresh us Oh Lord

Ephesians 6:12, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”